positive thinking was not what i needed — this video explains why


It’s not that I don’t believe in the power of our thoughts, but I have also definitely experienced the immoral potential of positive thinking the video at the link below is talking about. Emotionally repressive, ignorant, insensitive, isolating, and invalidating. Probably not the intention in most cases, but almost every day, I still hear snippets of this, and have to remind myself what it is for me.

Unfortunately, this was my experience of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I didn’t need to change how I was feeling; I just needed to understand what my feelings were responding to, and be validated for feeling that way. That my feelings were normal and healthy, and that there is actually nothing distorted in my view of reality, and there never has been. I realize this might not be true for everyone, but for me, my feelings were a normal response to an abnormal situation; the only way through the feelings has been to feel them, and appreciate how normal they are. CBT did not honour that for me; instead, my experience was that CBT was saying my feelings were the problem. Depression, anxiety — they were something to be gotten rid of, not honoured and listened to! Talk about the OPPOSITE of what I needed …!

Change my thoughts, change my feelings, change my behaviours.

Would you tell that to someone in grief? Probably not. I didn’t need to change anything; I just needed to feel, grieve, understand. That was the way through it for me.

And so here is a link to the video that spurred this whole out-pouring. Enjoy! Tell me what you think! This could be an interesting discussion …

Why the religion of positive thinking needs to be burned at the stake


Author: innerlight

A capricorn horse. Creative dreamer, over thinker. bpd, insecure attachment and any other labels for deep and chronic wounds and other gifts of brilliance that propel intense and eclectic lives and make for good art. We are high needs and high return, all the way, all the way. Surrender, integration, repair, rebuild, connect, create, evolve. Deeply.

3 thoughts on “positive thinking was not what i needed — this video explains why

  1. Pingback: as i was saying … | innerlight

  2. You cant thnk yourself out of the damaging effects of childhhod trauma. I wasted years following clueless positive thinking gurus. They made me feel like a failure because their snappy little affirmations only made me feel worse. Good for you for backing away from that.

  3. I was following this “religion” before. Now I follow an actual religion that already existed 2000 years. There is no such thing as “positive thinking” mentioned in there. Now I don’t give out unwarranted advice anymore, which positive thinkers often do.
    What they don’t understand is that when I tell about how I am feeling, how I was feeling, what I fight with, I’m not complaining and I am not searching to change it by any positive thinking method. I just tell it because it is what it is. It’s up to God to change it if he wishes, and me I just want to have a conversation about what is happening in my life.

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