innerlight

the silenced inner scape

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Isolation

Isolation (Photo credit: lovingyourwork.com)

the terror i felt at the feeling
that no one took the inner
side of me seriously
and no one ever would
no one even saw it
no one ever responded

my inner reactions are wrong
they are not real

beyond the defectiveness
and unloveability
and fortotten-ness
beyond the abandon-ness
and hopelessness
there was a silent, deafening
physically threatening
invisible terror

i learned to pretend it wasn't there
and do greatness at all costs
my greatness was pretended
even in crisis
even when i was abused
even when i was suicidal

such shocking aloneness
i have known
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Author: innerlight

A capricorn horse. Creative dreamer, over thinker. bpd, insecure attachment and any other labels for deep and chronic wounds and other gifts of brilliance that propel intense and eclectic lives and make for good art. We are high needs and high return, all the way, all the way. Surrender, integration, repair, rebuild, connect, create, evolve. Deeply.

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