I keep wanting to tell you everything — sometimes repetitively — because I don’t know if it’s real.
I can’t know where I am
until I truly know where I have been.
I can’t know where I am going
until I know where I truly am.
I want you to hear and know everything about me, and never leave, and always just be there.
When I thought you might have been experimenting with me by leaving the room to answer your pager on several occasions, I was filled with delight at the thought. I wanted desperately for you to be ‘playing with me.’ Doing things to learn more about me.