I’ve really been staring my life-long battle with isolation in the face lately, so articles like this are comforting, found while researching services for people with disabilities, now that I am one (I’m hinting here at the fact that I have now officially been granted status as a person with disabilities).
I’m happy about it most days, and some days of course, and as most of you already know, I feel like a fraud. For now, it feels good. I cannot possibly work anywhere near full time, and I am not capable of living on my own. The status recognizes that I am not the same as most and that I need special care in some areas; and that feels really validating. As my sponsor put it last week, noting that this is a fairly evolved way of seeing it, the Universe is sending me a cheque every month. The volunteer work that this enables me to do, and the creative person it enables me to be is the investment of the Universe.
Well, it is brief today. I’m investigating a new place to live, in a self-contained suite on a property with 50 other diverse, creative and open-minded people. It is $650 / month + utilities, so I am not even sure if it is viable for me. It’s great that I can make up to $800/month in addition to my regular assistance cheque, but how much can I rely on myself to bring in? Am I ready for any of that survival pressure? Many questions at this time. Surviving the August lull in classes and workshops one day at a time. Discovering the importance of keeping things moving by little small changes every day; my tendency to get stuck in unknowingness and indecision, and what I need to do to stay out of it. Kind of scattered; a little bit of this, a little bit of that … blessings on the day, all.