reader appreciation award from Kevin


  • Include the award logo somewhere in your blog.
  • Answer the 10 questions below, for fun if you want to.
  • Nominate 10 to 12 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number.
  • Pay the love forward: Provide your nominee’s link in your post and comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate.
  • Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you.


It’s been just over a year since I began blogging. As of this moment, I have 49 followers, 96 posts and 4,653 hits. Wow!

To say that I appreciate being appreciated is a) An under-statement and b) POORLY WORDED!

I’ve never received an award before, so this is going to be a nice juicy first-award post.

I’m one of those people who so often feels forgotten, invisible and unappreciated, so my joy in receiving this little appreciation jewel is wrapped up in a lot of feelings from the deprivation of my past.

Hee hee! I am such an emotional NERD sometimes! Hence, the original name that is unfortunately, still stuck in my blog address, ‘heartjunky’. (I go by Underground now, but have been unable to change the address of my blog …)

The person who nominated me:

Bold Kevin. I met Bold Kevin through his site Mental Health Writers Guild. He and I have had several little conversations around various posts of ours, and he is one of those rare folks who is articulate, emotionally intelligent, compassionate, insightful and humourous, all in one person. My favourite post of his so far is the one about not wearing his underpants on the outside — a metaphor and a post I have emailed to several of my friends who struggle to remember this about themselves as well. And the picture STILL cracks me up.

The process of nominating others:

Of course, I have taken the task of compiling a list of blogs to nominate very seriously (no, really?). The endeavor has inspired me to sort through all the blogs I have been following, un-follow the ones that are inactive or even no longer available, and re-assess my criteria for following a blog in the first place.

I am also one of those people who is easily overwhelmed in social situations and often forgets the names of people I meet within seconds of meeting them. Apparently, the same goes for blogs! In blog land, however, the potential for confusion is 3X greater, because the names of the blogs are never the same as the names of the bloggers, not to mention the name in the address of the blog — ! It takes a long time, and several interactions for me to remember a blogger and any of the dialogues we have had in the past.

So, part of this process for me was also to review all the little conversations I have had with people since I began blogging, and catch up with the blogs I have not had time to visit regularly, which is basically all of them! The thing is, there are so many fantastic blogs out there that I cannot possibly keep up with all of them. And, to be really honest, in the spirit of what brings us all to this blogging land, part of my ‘condition’ is that I am often overwhelmed just by the blog in my own head — !

I also have to acknowledge that there are dialogues that have moved me deeply from people who’s blogs I have a harder time relating to. This is a list of the blogs I am most moved by, posted with a call-out to all those in blog land, trying to heal, speaking out, connecting in ways rarely possible in person. I love us all. Blog Long and Prosper!

Where did they go?

Also, it seems a common experience that people I have connected with and/or had wonderful dialogues with have simply disappeared. Where did Penny go, for instance, over at her blog the healing book? or Sarah, at low flying crow? I have been deeply moved by my dialogues with them, and I hope to see them again here in the cyberworld.

And now, without further delay:

So, now, this morning, I feel wonderfully clear and caught up with the blogs I have come to adore so far on this blogging journey, and will nominate them here, for the Reader Appreciation Award (in no particular order):

  1. Living with Mental Illness (Meredeth) — clears the cobwebs in my mind like sweet orange with her articulation, compassion and insight. Meredeth is extraordinarily fearless and honest in her writing and rigorous in her exploration of DID and her desire to heal. Deep inspiration and insight nectar here.
  2. like water on a rock or off a duck’s butt … (junemoon) — the ordinary is extraordinary when you have been to the ends of the earth and back. This blog is like a soothing cup of tea, or a mindfulness meditation with gems of delight in every single post I have read. On the lighter side, but just as deep as anything else in the profundity of ordinariness that joonmoon finds and expresses so eloquently and artistically.
  3. Writing Thru Complex PTSD (Amy Jo)– her post about her relationship with her mother left me so speechless with awe, I did not event ‘like’ the post or write her to tell her how moved I was. Sometimes, I am so enthusiastic, I come across as a complete nutcase and scare people off. So I just clicked the follow button.
  4. Mandi A. Stores (Mandi) — a fellow bpd with a similar monstrous appetite for truth to my own, completing and journaling the experience of Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). If it was available to me here in BC, I would be doing it right now this instant.
  5. Blooming Lotus (faithallen)– that brilliant nectar of intelligence, emotional intensity, artistry with words and illuminating articulation (the sweet orange). Everything on this blog seems to stir my heart deeply.
  6. onbeingmindful (Shelly)– My experience of Shelly is fearless and objectively curious as only a brilliant student of mindfulness in recovery could be. Put this together with articulate, compassionate and intelligent and I get more of the brilliant nectar here. She is also journaling her experience with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which I continue to be interested in (also not available to me here in BC on disability).

10 questions:

1. what is your favorite color? orange, green, brown, purple

2. what is your favorite animal? squirrel, bunny, horse

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink? gingerbread syrup, fresh ginger, cranberry juice, orange juice, and club soda with a cinnamon stick in it. Being allergic to alcohol, I appreciate this question particularly!

4. What is your favorite genre of music? folk, alternative.

5. When you want dessert, what is it that you are craving? Kozy Shak rice pudding, Oreo Cookie icecream or dinosaur candies from the bulk food section.

6. How long have you been blogging in General? I’ve been blogging for just over a year.

7. What is your most favorite TV show? if not TV, movie? CSI, Six Feet Under, SYTYD, The Amazing Race

8. Do you think you will pass this on to anyone? Of course! It’s been fantastic to think about who, appreciate my fellow bloggers and reflect on my own blogging experience.

9. Do you prefer getting or giving presents? Giving, by far. WAY more fun for me.

10- What is your passion? dancing, drumming, singing, writing, graphic design, bonfires, and ancestral / family legacy exploration.


Thank you for being here with me, everyone!


Author: innerlight

A capricorn horse. Creative dreamer, over thinker. bpd, insecure attachment and any other labels for deep and chronic wounds and other gifts of brilliance that propel intense and eclectic lives and make for good art. We are high needs and high return, all the way, all the way. Surrender, integration, repair, rebuild, connect, create, evolve. Deeply.

11 thoughts on “reader appreciation award from Kevin

  1. I think you’re doing an awesome job. When I want to learn, I come here to read, and boy do I learn. I remember the day I thought, “oh! I thought BPD meant bi-polar depression… maybe I need to read more, here.”

    Thank you for being here. Thank you for writing such informative posts. Everyone brings something to the table, don’t they? Your blog rocks–please stay with it!

    ~meredith. xx

  2. Thank you so much for nominating me for the Reader Appreciation Award! It means a whole lot…I am so humbled. I never thought writing an online journal would touch so many and in the process I have been touched by so many! I am so glad to have met you through the waves…
    Keep doing what your doing. You teach me much!

  3. Kevin this is wonderful! This is Amy from Writing Thru PTSD. I’m so thrilled! Thank you for reading and nominating me/naming my blog. And don’t ever feel too nuts to comment! I live enthusiasm. Did I do what I was supposed to do right? I did a blog post and answered the questions in my last post….
    Thanks again! You’re incredibly thoughtful.
    Amy Jo

    • Hey Amy, I left you a note on your post. This is such a great example of how confusing all the different names can be here in blog land (blog name, profile name, website address …) eh! So, everyone, I am Underground, and this is my blog entitled Underground; and Bold Kevin over at has nominated me for this award. Thanks again, Kevin, and everyone. The experience of receiving appreciation here continues to blossom! Big Love, Underground.

  4. Thank you! I wish you could do ISTDP too. It’s kicking my ASS this week though. I left Monday screaming, literally, swear words at my therapist. The poor guy in the waiting room, door was open. I guess he knows the fire he’s walking into as well! Although APPARENTLY I am a very difficult, (the most difficult according to J!) client. I’m proud! 🙂 Honestly though, if I can get through it it’ll save my life. I really hope more therapists will look into this type of therapy. In my opinion, there is a whole group of people with BPD that can be almost if not completely cured by it. It’s good for anyone, gets you to the CORE. and EVERYONE has some type of baggage! Thanks again! 🙂

    • It’s going to happen some how. I feel like this therapy was made for me. I’ve wanted someone to bash through my intelligence and challenge (heal) my core all my life. I wouldn’t want to do it (!), but I would pay someone else if I had the money … I hope you felt a release in the screaming. I don’t know about you, but in my life, it’s been an extremely rare occasion for me to scream like what you describe — I can remember 2 times in this moment. I’m really excited to hear more about your experience. Keep on keeping on, Mandi. Your journey is near and dear 🙂

      • I SOOOOOOO wish you could do this. Because that’s what the problem is. Many with BPD are too stinking SMART for regular therapy! It’s not even CLOSE to a challenge. THIS, ISTPD, is honestly, seriously, the most difficult challenge I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a husband with cancer, had foster children I fought for, had clients I fought for… but fighting for ME? NEVER! But it’s not just that. It’s that there is NO WAY out. I’m used to being able to get out of just about anything. But this, I can’t get out of. And I know, I’ve tried EVERY trick in the book and it just won’t work! It’s BEYOND frustrating, but that’s what people like you and I need. Someone who is smarter. Who knows ALL of our tricks, who can see through every ploy… Ya, it sucks… but how in the hell are we supposed to get anywhere when we don’t have someone pushing us? BEYOND pushing us. I’ve gone WAYYYY past what I THOUGHT I could do already. And I’m honestly just starting. This IS the quick way to recovery, but BPD isn’t exactly easy to treat so it takes some time. But it’s not going to be 5yrs, 10yrs, or 20yrs.
        I have a friend here who is going to the same therapist, so I can’t post as much about the therapy as I have in the past, and had to delete some posts. It’s not fair to put someone I know in the position of having to explain all this. There is no way for us to explain it without sounding crazy. So know that there is a LOT going on between the lines. 🙂 I also have my parents and other friends and family reading, so I have to sensor there too! Hopefully it will help those who know me with mental illness to feel more free to express their feelings. And hopefully it will help those who don’t maybe understand a little more about what goes through our heads.
        Wow… long reply. Sorry!

  5. Thank you so much! :0)

    ~ Faith Allen @ Blooming Lotus

  6. Underground ~ I truly feel honored that you chose my blog for this award. You take your time to reach out with your words, thoughts, heart and energy both in your blog posts and the comments you generously leave for fellow bloggers. When I am on my feet again and have reclaimed my health and center, I will give this award the attention it deserves. Until then, please know that I appreciate the blessing you have passed onto me. Peace to you ~ junemoon

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