my sponsor in codependents anonymous said yesterday how it is a commonly held truth that codependents tend to chronically attract narcissistic partners; codependents and narcissists are perfect matches for each other. i resonated with this because as i have been reading about narcissists lately, their symptoms and the ways they lie remind me of every partner i’ve been with. my most recent break-up, which i blogged about in trusting perception + trauma is trauma, i am finding it challenging to be finished with the dysfunction of our exchange. he is an artist and just entering the community of an artspace i help to promote. i am actually fuming today, which is why i am posting again. i feel like if i don’t get this off my chest some how, i will implode. the anger is acidic. grrrrr! i wish i was above this; i pray to be above it soon. so, this is the jist of my rant:
putting up his boundaries of defense with tiny knives to “protect” himself from dangers he has made up in me. It is only so he can hide from his own. anyone worth knowing will see this also, as time tells because time does tell. he will stay stuck in his isolation until he is able to turn the mirror. an objective and evolved person would pray for him. I pray to be that person, for my higher power to remove the fear and outrage from me, this trigger of being the only one to see, thinking that I am the one who is cra-z.