innerlight

visceral emotion

4 Comments

'my cup runneth over' by Leah Day

'my cup runneth over' by Leah Day

Sensation of anxiety as a physical symptom — tension in my shoulders, upwards pressure on my collar bone. Stuck in a permanent inhale. Fear of rejection and abandonment. Shame over rejecting someone else. Horror of being judged, misunderstood.

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Author: innerlight

A capricorn horse. Creative dreamer, over thinker. bpd, insecure attachment and any other labels for deep and chronic wounds and other gifts of brilliance that propel intense and eclectic lives and make for good art. We are high needs and high return, all the way, all the way. Surrender, integration, repair, rebuild, connect, create, evolve. Deeply.

4 thoughts on “visceral emotion

  1. You described anxiety so well. I feel as if I’m always about ready to boil over. It always makes me feel like tearing my skin off, screaming to exhaustion, and peeling wallpaper off of walls. It’s excruciating – and I just keep waiting for the relief, for the thing that causing the anxiety to happen, so the feeling of dread and anticipation can finally end – and nothing is never that awful, so, it doesn’t end. (Until a crying fit, acting out, or sleeping it off – then, it starts up again.)

  2. yes, i relate to the impetus for violent destruction of objects, and images of self-destruction (though i have rarely acted on these). most often the anxiety comes out of a feeling that has not been named or fully acknowledged yet — a feeling that calls for action or a new level of understanding and compassion.

  3. Interesting. I hope all is well with you. Thank you for writing and expressing your truth, and feeling. It’s so needed for me to read the realness of others, and you offer that constantly. I hope you are doing OK, and are healing well.

    hugs and best wishes,
    Penney

  4. hi Penney,
    i had a hard new years, and almost ended up in the hospital, but a CoDA meeting and member managed to pull me out of depression — again, i can testify to the power of listening and being heard. my new years plans had been with the fellow I “got out of the car” with recently, and I didn’t realize how important it would end up being to make some other plans until it was too late … a lesson in self-care :)))) thank you for expressing appreciation so genuinely and warmly. a recurring experience in my life is communicating, or putting something out, from the most genuine part of my soul, and not hearing a response, like i am living in some kind of alternate planet or void; so when i read your response, i take a deep breath as if i am breathing new air. slowly finding kindred spirits who speak and breathe this inner language. glad to know you. to growth and inner gems … Underground

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