this photo was posted on flickr with an article about narcism that I found surprisingly illuminating. it caught my attention, as i was looking for images to represent perfectionism.
strange, i can tell that i would feel more embarrassed to say that i have narcisistic personality disorder than i do with bpd, and i have no idea why. i have to admit feeling a little bit naked publishing this because i relate to it so much. but what else is a blog for than to bare the soul for the sake of information, compassion and perspective?
so, word for word, here is the article ‘i must be perfect to be accepted’ by alshepmcr:
Pathological narcissism occurs in a spectrum of severity. In its more extreme forms, it is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that they are flawed in a way that makes them fundamentally unacceptable to others. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing, if questioned. In order to protect themselves against the intolerably painful rejection and isolation that (they imagine) would follow if others recognized their supposedly defective nature, such people make strong attempts to control others’ view of them and behavior towards them.
Pathological narcissism can develop from an impairment in the quality of the person’s relationship with their primary caregivers, usually their parents, in that the parents were unable to form a healthy and empathic attachment to them. This results in the child’s conception of himself/herself as unimportant and unconnected to others. The child typically comes to believe they have some personality defect that makes them unvalued and unwanted.
Narcissistic personality disorder is isolating, disenfranchising, painful, and formidable for those living with it and often those who are in a relationship with them. Distinctions need to be made among those who have NPD because not each and every person with NPD is the same. Even with similar core issues, the way in which one’s individual narcissism manifests itself in his or her relationships varies.
To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others’ needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen.
People who are overly narcissistic commonly feel rejected, humiliated and threatened when criticised. To protect themselves from these dangers, they often react with disdain, rage, and/or defiance to any slight criticism, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some narcissistic people withdraw socially and may feign modesty or humility. In cases where the narcissistic personality-disordered individual feels a lack of admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation, he/she may also manifest wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).
Although individuals with NPD are often ambitious and capable, the inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional achievements. With narcissistic personality disorder, the individual’s self-perceived fantastic grandiosity, often coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically not commensurate with his or her real accomplishments.
The exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, disregard for others, and constant need for attention inherent in NPD adversely affect interpersonal relationships.
- Source Article on flickr
- Mental Health Monday – Christmas with the Cluster B Personality Disorders (showard76.wordpress.com)
- What is the difference between obsessive compulsive personality disorder and narcissitic personality disorder (wiki.answers.com)
- Envy, Part of the Definition of Narcisistic Personality Disorder (psychologytoday.com)
- Interpersonal Explotation Typical of Narcissists (psychologytoday.com)
- We’re all narcissists now (telegraph.co.uk)