What level of aloneness and fear should I expect myself to handle alone? What level is normal? What should I expect of myself and my life? What have I suffered through alone that I shouldn’t have–when should I have asked for help? What is an overwhelming emotion? What parts of my experience are pathological / need some bandaids? What parts should I be able to deal with alone?
If everything I need to know to heal comes from inside of me, what do I need others for? That just says to me that nothing is going to change; I just have to buck up and deal with it better.
I’m sorry, but I do feel a sense of entitlement–for the emotional support and protection I should have received so long ago. I am entitled to not feel alone, and to receive the therapy I have needed for so long.